With apologies to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLR4iZJLgc4

Hello, I'm “Mister Clem”

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,  
And no one can talk to a horse of course  
That is, of course, unless the talker is the famous “ Mr. Clem” .  

Go right up there and ask “The Clem”  
He'll give you the answer without a haw or a hem .  
He'll end up talking without an end .  
Talk to “ Mr. Clem” .  

People yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day  
But “ Mister Clem” will always speak even if he has nothing to say.  

A Clem is a Clem , of course, of course,  
And this Clem 'll talk 'til his voice is hoarse.  
You never heard Clem talk to a horse?  

Well listen to this.

(warbling)

I -I-I a -a- m -m “ Mi -i-i ster C-l-e-e-em!”

Now most of you Clem and Wilber wanna-be's will be expected to send Clem a birthday greeting no later than Monday, March 19 th .  Send it to jwgiff@yahoo.com   Anyone not complying will have Clem visit them personally and you all don't want that happening.